What to Do When Criticized

Following a recent presentation, a young man wanted to know if I had time for him to ask me a question.  When I agreed that I had time, he asked his question – “What do you do when someone criticizes you?”  A lot of questions need time to think through an answer before responding.  Some that need time, don’t get time.  This was like that.  He was expecting an immediate response, and I’m afraid it was not as good as I would give again, having now had time to think about it.  First, I grew up with a Pastor/Father who never seemed to be bothered by anything.  Good role model.  Second, I spent fifteen years in collegiate ministry.  University students are being trained to challenge everything, so my every decision was analyzed, sometimes criticized, and challenged.  I learned not to let it bother me.  Then I spent twenty-two years trying to teach theological education in a seminary.  Traditionally, many of these want-a-be ministers at least thought they already knew more than their professors, so I walked out of every class, assuming that someone in the room probably didn’t like me or appreciate my lectures. In other words, I just learned from an early age, to not let criticism or disagreement, bother me.  I’ve also served as Interim Pastor twenty-nine times.  I would be deceiving myself if I thought every member of every church loved me and my ministry.  But I got up every Sunday morning and preached what I thought God was leading me to preach, thus becoming lunch-time criticism for a few.  In my mother’s words, I let it roll off of me like “water off a duck’s back.”  I actually never knew what that meant, but it sounded good.  Did the criticism ever hurt, oh yeah, but a good night’s sleep and I was usually good to go again.  The young man also asked if I had a verse of Scripture that helped.  I couldn’t think of one at the time, but how about the instructions of Jesus in Matthew 5:48, “I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”  Try this the next time you are criticized.